14 years

I could apologize that I haven't blogged in...oh...4ish years...but thats no fun. So instead...I am just going to start blogging like I have never left off....here we go...

14 years ago today, I was packing up what little I had from an apartment that I shared with a few girlfriends, to move into an even tinier apartment that I was going to share with my future husband in only 8 days. I was trying to get a beautiful white dress tailored properly for the 3rd time...I was trying to pack up everything I owned in to a 1982 Bright blue Geo Prism...and I was trying to not freak about about the fact that in a little over a week I was going to be MARRIED!! Looking back on that week...I wonder what I would have told that crazy, 20 year old, naive girl...if I had the chance to time travel back to her. I think I would just hug her and tell her through tear filled eyes that she was about to have the best adventure! I would tell her that even though she loved her soon-to-be-husband now...she really had no idea what love was...but she would learn...and she would somehow love him more every year. I would tell her that she was going to have two of the most wonderful children ever...and that somehow having those babes would make her love her husband even more than she thought possible. I would tell her that she would have many nights that she feared she wasn't "doing the parent thing" or "the wife thing" right. I would tell her that some nights she was going to fall asleep so frustrated...but other nights...most nights...she would fall asleep with the biggest smile on her face. I would tell her to breathe more and think less....to enjoy spontaneous moments...and to let her husband grab her butt in public soooooo much earlier than year 13 (because he would only grab it for a second...when no one was watching...but it would always mean the world to him that you let him do it). I would tell her to not have an attitude so quickly...especially during her first few years of marraige. I would tell her to stop being so stubborn all the time...to listen more and talk less...to take more moments to love deeply and just smile sweetly. I would tell her that some moments...some months...even some years were going to be hard...like really hard. But I would tell her that they would make it through them just fine. I would tell her that she doesn't always have to be perfect...and I would tell her that a few amazing girlfriends in her life would walk through hard times with her...and that they didn't expect her to be perfect either. As a matter of fact...somehow they loved her even more in her inperfections. I would tell her that her husband would love her imperfections too...even the ones that she is going to try to hide...he will somehow love those the most...because those imperfections will remind him that she really does need him...even when she tries to act all independant. I would tell her that 14 years later...to the date...she will be sitting in a car after a super successful business meeting (I would propbably also have to tell her that she would be a business woman someday)...headed home to her husband and sweet babes...and the last 14 years will just hit her. Like a huge wave of emotion...and she will smile...and cry...and laugh...and she will have memories flash through her minds eye...and each one will bring more of a smile to her tear stained face as she remembers the beauty in the last 14 years. I would tell her that in that moment she will be overwhelmed that not only had they made it 14 years...but now they were even better than they ever had been...and they were only going to get better.
And, I would think to tell her all of these things...but I would stop myself. Because I would know that she will need all of the lessons she will learn through those 14 years...and she will be such a better person, wife, mom, friend, and daughter because of them. Instead...I would just hug her...and tell her that she is making the best decision she will ever make. I would look in to that 20 year olds face and tell her how excited I am for her, and I would tell her that I couldn't wait to talk to her in 14 years...so we could hug again...and realize...how thankful we are for the life and love we have been given.