They do it every year

Somehow...these sweet babes of mine...do something terrible every year. They know my favorite momma title is "summer mom"...they know our family loves late night grilling dinners...they know how much I love a good pool day with them...they know how great outdoor fire pits and s'mores are...they know I love them home with me...BUT...they still have to start school every year. And yes...I still tear up on the first day of school...and yes...I know I am crazy! School just started and Maddie actually caught me tearing up in the car when Ty walked in to school. Of course...in Maddie fashion...she put her sweet hand on my shoulder and said "He will be fine momma...I will be fine too...we go this!"...which of course made me tear up even more! As I drove away from her school I started thinking of some things I would love to share with them...right now...exactly at the ages they are at. So...I thought a list might be a theaputic way for me to deal with them growing up...and maybe even help them through out this year. And...since they are both so different and at such different stages of life...I figured I would make a list for each of them.
Here it goes...
Maddie -
1 - PLEASE stay sweet. I truly love your sassy sense of humor...but make sure that the sass stays there. Don't be one of the mean girls...ever! I promise you...it is always better to be sweet and kind. Even if you don't feel like you "win" in a situation...you will always sleep better at night knowing that you tried to be nice. Nice matters baby girl...and it always will!
2 - Keep your girlfriends. You have some pretty stinking amazing girl friends. Like...for real...their mommas have done an amazing job! All of them are different and all of them bring different lights to your life. They will annoy you (here is a secret...you will annoy them too at times. I know...I am sure you just gasped...how can little miss perfect be annoying?!? :-) Don't worry...you will all annoy each other from time to time). Look past what annoys you and find the good in them. Relationships always go through ups and downs...but the good girlfriends who really love you...keep them...close! They will walk through a lot with you and their love and support will be invaluable. They will also be the best people to eat chocolate with when a boy breaks your heart...which brings me to my next point...
3 - Boys...UGH! Boys are so weird at this stage....and kind of annoying...and...just...well...off! Don't let any boy determine your value. He can't. Don't let him! With that being said...it's ok and even fun to have crushes...just make sure you still always tell me about them while we have our coffee dates. And...it is so great just to have guy friends! I promise you...find some boys that are just your friend. They will totally help you and give you such a different perspective on any issues you might have. I promise you...good guy friends will stay with you through out high school!
4 - Please stay "weird". I know you pride yourself on your weird faces and goofy jokes...keep those. Don't take yourself too seriously. SO many girls at your age already do...or they might start...don't follow that trend. Be funny. Be silly. Make weird faces in selfies. Don't feel the need to always be perfect or look perfect. Have fun. Don't stress outfits and hair every morning. Be okay to just be you...and try to hang out with other people who are the same way
5 - Perfection is unattainable. You HAVE to hear this one sweetness. I know you. You cannot always be perfect. You will mess up. You will get a B every now and then (gasp). You will not always get the part you want in the plays you do. You will mess up and audition...and probably multiple auditions. You will have off days when you have an attitude. You will fail some times. It's OK! I promise! Not always being perfect will teach you SO much! You are not and never will be a failure! It's just not in you. But be ok to be "off" every once in a while. I will always be here with a coffee date and a pedicure...and that will ALWAYS help. I got you sweetie...and whether you are having the best day or the worst day...whether you were amazing or if you screwed up royally...whether you get the part or not...I am always proud of you and I will always believe in you. Always, always, ALWAYS!!
6 - Growing up is a part of life. You will go through weird phases and you and I might even go through some weird phases. It's ok. Hormones will come and go...fads will come and go...interests will come and go...but baby girl...I will always be in your corner rooting you on. You've got this. My little A type girl can conquer almost anything you put your mind to...and I love that. Just know that growing up will come in stages. Some of those stages will be amazing...some...won't be our favorites...but your momma will be with you every step of the way and we will tackle them together.
7 - Keep singing baby girl. I love that you still break out in to a song and tap dance when we are in line at the grocery store. Keep that. Maybe not ALWAYS when we are out in public :-)...but keep that song in your heart. Go after what you love the most. Keep practicing what you love and always remember "Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard".
8 - You are loved...endlessly. Always remember that you are so loved by your dad and I...and so many other amazing people. This year will be amazing for you...and on the days that you don't feel the amazing-ness...just remember that you are loved and an amazing day will come again soon.

Tyler
1 - Be you. Goodness I love you boo. I love your long winded stories that you tell. I love your intelligence and love of all things science. I love your artsy side and your creativity. Don't change any of that. Be you buddy...even if you are different...and even if you are the same as others. Don't work so hard to be an individual that you lose who you really are...and don't ever try too hard to fit in that you lose who you are. Just. Be. You. Because you are my favorite!
2 - Stay sweet. You are such a sweet and thoughtful kid. Please don't ever change. You might get hurt..and people might take advantage of you...that's ok. Being sweet and kind will always be the right choice. And...if anyone ever does hurt you...you just let me know...and I will never tell you where the body is hidden (I'm kidding...kind of...not really). Keep loving everyone...from all different backgrounds and beliefs. Many times the people that seem the most "different", are the people that will enrich and change your life for the better. Don't stress about who is a "cool kid"...just love people.
3 - Keep your head in the clouds. I know...I know... I have spent years trying to help you focus and stay on task...and you really are doing so much better at that...I am so proud of you. But...sometimes...it's ok to keep your head in the clouds. Keep imagining...keep creating...keep exploring...keep looking at the stars. I will help you stay on task when you need to...and I will remind you if you forget. But try so hard to keep a good balance of "staying on top of things" along with being the wonderful and sometimes absent minded you...because I love that you (as long as that you still finishes his homework and projects and still does his chores)!
4 - Keep giving me hugs randomly. You will never know how much it means to my heart when you randomly hug me and tell you that you love me. There is just something magical about it..and I notice each one. I notice each hug while I cook dinner...I remember the random hugs while I am rushing around with work...my heart melts when you rush over to me and hug me in front of your friends. Even if I don't make a huge deal about then...I love your hugs. And I love that you are never ashamed to give them to me. Thank you boo.
5 - Girls...UGH! I know you have a special someone right now...and I know she means a ton to you. Thank you for telling me so much about her. Thank you for wanting me to know details about the two of you. Thank you for being open and honest. I am so happy that you are happy. With that being said...if you ever aren't happy...or if you need help...or advice...or a way out...Please know that I am here. You are so thoughtful and I want to make sure that your heart is always being filled and that you are being loved on as well. Don't ever settle buddy. Don't ever think that you are "stuck" in a high school relationship...you aren't.  You have so much to offer and this momma bear will always be pretty protective of your heart...sorry not sorry!
6 - Lets always talk. I know you are getting to an age that talking can be over rated...and I totally get that...but...lets always take some time to talk and catch up. Maddie and I have coffee dates and pedicures...which makes it a little easier for her and I to talk and catch up. You and I will have to work a little harder at it...but I want to make sure that we both put in the effort. Drag me out of the house some nights when you are looking at stars...remind me that we need to catch up. And...be ok if I drag you on some shopping errands...I am only doing it so I can get a pulse on where you are at...and most likely you will still get a cool pair of shoes out of the shopping trip...so it's still a win!
7 - Keep writing songs. I know they frustrate you sometimes...and I know that the words don't always come easily...but keep writing. And keep your songs in a journal. Someday...you will look back on them and love some of them...laugh at others...and have possible new songs based off of them. But I promise you...you will be happy that you wrote and you will be happy that you kept them. Daddy and I still love looking back through his old songs...and maybe someday you will look back at them with someone special in your life...just sayin'.
8 - You are loved...TONS! Things are going to happen this year. Some great things...and probably some hard things...that's just life. But I will ALWAYS be here for you and I will always love you...nothing can ever change that.

Well...now I am tearing up again...geez...I am a mess! I am so thankful for my babes and I can't wait to see what this year has in store for them. 2017/2018 school year...Here we come!

Real life

This morning I woke up early to get the babes ready for their fun days. Maddie was headed out to go bowling with her girl friends from youth group and Ty needed to get ready for a day of fishing with the boys. I packed lunches and snacks for Ty, got his fishing pole ready, headed to the ATM so they both had money, grabbed a quick breakfast for them, and got them where they needed to be. I came back home and I was ready to clean out my fridge super quick so I could get on with my morning. Dustin is out of town and I honestly couldn't even remember the last time I had a few hours to myself on a Saturday...like for real...could not tell you if I had a gun to my head. I had visions of browsing Ulta with a coffee in hand...walking through Target and trying on wedges that I don't need...looking through every rack at Charming Charlie's and walking out with a few new pair of earrings, and I had visions of doing all of this in quiet...no rushing...just relaxing...I mean...basically fairies and Angels were in this vision (all you working mommas feel me right now...can you hear the angels singing softly?!?). So...I pulled in to my driveway and got ready to attack my fridge. And I have to be honest...I was ready for a fight. If you know me...you know that I like a clean house. I mean...I really do. I like everything in its place and I like my house to always smell pretty (yes...I have issues). My fridge has had this smell...like just a bad smell. I can't explain it...I don't know where it is coming from...but it is constant. It has been there for a few days now. I have done the obvious throwing away of all old food. I have removed every potentially old veggie or fruit...and still...the smell remains. So today...it was me against the fridge. I literally removed every old condiment, spice, drink, and anything that had the thought of going bad in the next few days. I removed every drawer and shelf. I deep cleaned each one of them. I scrubbed with a sponge and bleach. I used windex for a beautiful shine. I mean...you could basically eat off of any area in my fridge. One would now start to think..."so...why are you writing all of this? I mean...do you want a cookie for cleaning out your fridge?" Oh no...no...no cookie needed. I am writing all of this so you have a  reason to read this next part. Because my friends...this...this is where it gets good...or actually horribly wrong depending on how you look at it. In my haste to throw everything away and clean in a hurry...I had put everything from the fridge in one large trash bag. And this wasn't a wimpy trash bag. No...this was one of those heavy duty...hold everything...I could even fit in it....trash bag. I did not realize how much I had thrown away. Most of it was condiments or items in glass bottles. No biggie...all I had to do was get it outside to our trash dumpster. It was heavy...but I was up for the challenge. I started to pick it up and I could see a few holes forming. Still...I was not alarmed. I literally only had to make a short walk out of my kitchen...through the back door...and around the side of the house. I got this! I could see a little bit of red liquid on my kitchen floor...but I still wasn't worries about it. I got out the back door and made sure to keep the dogs outside. I did not want them to get inside and somehow get in to the small amount of liquid that had seeped it's way on to the floor (in hindsight...I am a moron and should have brought them inside...but you know...live and learn). I was trying to lift the bag gently over the puppies and around the outdoor furniture. Now... I am beginning to feel some liquid on my feet as I try to maneuver this bag to our outside trash bin. No worries...I still got this and I am getting ready to hop in the shower right after this so I can see fairies and hear angles singing while I have a couple hours of alone time. Our newest puppy is now trying to jump on on me and the bag. She is excited to see me and she probably smells some potential snacks in the larger-than-santas-Christmas bag-bag I am carrying. I notice that there is now a large red liquid trail behind me. I am trying to keep the puppies attention...while keeping her off of the bag (because she is starting to rip it more)...and still trying to walk it to the trash bin. I finally get to the trash bin and I realize that she is now licking the red liquid. I set the bag down and try to get her to stop. Our other dog steps in and seems to be a great distraction for her. I then try to pick up the now seeping trash bag only to realize that the bottom has dropped out and one EVERYTHING from my fridge is on the concrete in front of my trash bin. I also notice that the red liquid is coming from a Frank's bottle that has somehow been demolished in the trip (if you don't know what Frank's is...it is a condiment similar to a mix of hot wing sauce and tabasco). The new puppy is now again interested in the seeping liquids, so I pick her up to bring her inside with me so I can get some paper towels and a few new trash bags. But...you have to remember that there was already some liquid spillage in the kitchen...so as soon as I walk in the house...with a squirmy puppy in my arms...I slide on the liquid and fall. Don't worry...I held the puppy the entire time...she was good. Now...I am trying to get up with the puppy in my arms and I grab the extra paper towels and trash bags. I head back outside and put the puppy down in the grass...away from the trash explosion. I am now trying to pick up the trash and put it in new trash bags...so I can put those in the outside trash bin.  Enter the realization that there is broken glass all around because some of the bottles...including the Frank's bottle...have been completely smashed. As I am trying to carefully pick up the pieces of glass...I see the puppy trying to eat the Frank's sauce. I run over to her...and I obviously step right on a piece of glass...covered in hot sauce. Because of course...I am in bare feet...because why wouldn't I be? So Now I am holding a puppy with Frank's all over her mouth...and I am realizing that I have a piece of glass in my foot...WITH hot sauce on it. I'm guessing you can imagine how that feels...but let me explain it. Not only is there a stabbing pain of having glass in  your foot...but there is a lovely after shock of hot sauce shooting through the open wound that the glass has caused...it was AWESOME! Now...I am sitting on my outdoor furniture with the puppy still in my arms...while I am trying to get glass out of my foot. Do you want to know what happens next?!? The puppy pukes...like everywhere...it is also awesome! I set her down and head back to the pile of trash. I finally get all of the trash in the trash bin, and I head to the hose so I can try to spray down the concrete. I turn on the hose only to realize that my same sweet puppy has somehow chewed off the nozzle from the hose. So...water is now spraying everywhere (I mean...I can't even make this stuff up). I grabbed the hose...which has now pretty much soaked me...and I head over to the concrete to start spraying it down. The puppies are now in the grass (maybe because they didn't want to get wet...or maybe out of fear of their crazy looking momma)...but either way...they are out of the way now. I spray down everything and get all of the glass picked up. I then realize that I am still bleeding and stinging...so I head back inside. One would think that I would remember that my kitchen floor is still wet...and that my feet are soaked from the hose...but oh no...I don't remember that. So I literally look like a baby calf  trying to ice skate through my kitchen. I didn't fall though...so I consider that a win. I clean out my foot and then finally mop and disinfect my kitchen floor. Currently...I am watching "Say Yes To the Dress" with my foot elevated while drinking a coffee. There are no fairy sightings...and no angels are singing...but there is also no smell in my kitchen. So basically...I win...or at least that is what I am telling myself.

The Sisterhood

Today was a goosebumps giving, love sharing, super inspiring, thought provoking, stance taking, and a history making kind of day. And...let me say this right off the bat...THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL POST! No matter what political party you affiliate with...we are all humans. This is a HUMAN thought...specifically a human women thought. Today I was able to talk to my daughter a lot about what was happening not only in DC today, but around the world. Women were standing together in a common bond to support one another. Whether or not you  agree with everything they stood for, or perhaps you stood with them...that is completely not my point! We stood together...just for each other. Not for the skinny or curvy, not for the momma or business woman, not for the highly educated or inexperienced, not for the well-to-do or for the less fortunate...nope today...we just stood...TOGETHER! I have often listened to Beyonces song..."Run the World", and I have thought to myself...one main reason that we don't run the world is because we are too busy tearing each other down. Yup...you heard me. As women...we have this horrible thing that we do. We judge....A LOT. And we don't only do it internally, we bring in other women on it.
"Did you see what she is wearing?"
"Did you hear about what her husband did?"
"Can you believe how she lets her children run around like that?"
"Can you believe how she has let herself go?"
"No wonder she's not married"
" I wonder why she isn't married?"
"Why hasn't she had children yet?"
"I don't understand why she doesn't want to help support her family"
"She works so much...she must neglect her family"
"I can't believe should would be in that march today!"
"I can't believe she didn't march today!"
"She's too soft"
"She's too hard"
"She's too feminine"
"She's too masculine"
Do any of these sound familiar? Maybe they came from our own mouths, or maybe we have heard one or more of these said about us. It's ridiculous. I hate it. I want us to stop it.
Today I heard about my daughters dreams. She wants to go to Juliard for college. She wants to be on Broadway. She doesn't even want to think about getting married until her mid to late thirties, and kids are not even a thought for her yet. She's independent. Sometimes fiercely so. I never have to check to see if her homework is completed....I know it is. I never have to check her grades...I know they are all A's or at least will be. I never have to ask her if she is ready for an audition...She has already been practicing for over a month. She is strong willed, she loves being able to out-push-up some of the boys in her gym class, she tends to be a perfectionist, she is not a fan of having to ask for help...BUT...on the flip side...she is sweet, she cares for her friends...DEEPLY, she cries when one of her friends is sad, seeing a homeless person rips her heart out of her chest, she loves everything pink and sparkly, and buying her a pedicure might be one of the fastest ways to her heart. She is the reason I love being a woman. There is so much strength, softness, beauty, compassion, stubbornness, grace, elegance, knowledge and brut force in all of us. It's amazing!! And today...we were able to show that. We showed all of that in marching. We showed it in not marching. We showed it in supporting. We showed it in our silence. We...we as women had a day to be us. There are so many of us. We are all amazing and unique in our own ways. We are human. We love. We fight. We care for. We disagree with. We support. We run businesses. We run homes. We stand our ground...many times with differing views of each other...and that is ok. I just want all of us to not let our differing views and personalities to matter more to each other than our sisterhood does. I don't expect all of us to be best friends...but I feel like if we gave one another a little more of a chance...we could find a common ground with one another. I feel like it might be time to make Beyonces song a true one...but we can only do that if we truly find a way to love each other...just for being in the same sisterhood...just for being women.
If you are strong and independent...I admire you. If you are a democrat...I love your views. If you are a republican...I appreciate your views as well. If you never want to be married or have children...good for you...I hope you get out of life everything that you ever wanted. If all you want to do is be married and raise babes...that's awesome...I hope you find so much fulfillment in that. If you want to be the best business woman ever...I applaud you...you go for it. If you want to be the biggest dreamer there ever was...please keep dreaming...we need more of you. If you want to be the strongest and hardest woman ever...that's amazing and I can't wait to see what you accomplish. If you want to be the softest and most compassionate women that you can be...I so appreciate that and I love your heart for others. If you want to be a mixture of all of these things listed above...that is beyond wonderful and I can't wait to see the amazingly beautiful force you have in this world.
Whether you agree or disagree with the reason behind the marches today...I hope we can all see that we as women can be a force to be reckoned with...for good! My heart is smiling at the fact that my daughter can grow up in a country where women unite for one another...where we come together to encourage and stand up for one another. Our views and beliefs will always differ...but our sisterhood will always remain the same. Let's chose to be good sisters to one another...lets chose to love each other...lets chose to enourage, support, and believe in one another.  I don't care if we ever "run the world" (ok...that's a lie...I kind of do care)...but I hope that someday we can look back on this very day and realize that as women...we were a part of history...and we were a part of the start of something beautiful.