Saturday, April 22, 2017

Real life

This morning I woke up early to get the babes ready for their fun days. Maddie was headed out to go bowling with her girl friends from youth group and Ty needed to get ready for a day of fishing with the boys. I packed lunches and snacks for Ty, got his fishing pole ready, headed to the ATM so they both had money, grabbed a quick breakfast for them, and got them where they needed to be. I came back home and I was ready to clean out my fridge super quick so I could get on with my morning. Dustin is out of town and I honestly couldn't even remember the last time I had a few hours to myself on a Saturday...like for real...could not tell you if I had a gun to my head. I had visions of browsing Ulta with a coffee in hand...walking through Target and trying on wedges that I don't need...looking through every rack at Charming Charlie's and walking out with a few new pair of earrings, and I had visions of doing all of this in quiet...no rushing...just relaxing...I mean...basically fairies and Angels were in this vision (all you working mommas feel me right now...can you hear the angels singing softly?!?). So...I pulled in to my driveway and got ready to attack my fridge. And I have to be honest...I was ready for a fight. If you know me...you know that I like a clean house. I mean...I really do. I like everything in its place and I like my house to always smell pretty (yes...I have issues). My fridge has had this smell...like just a bad smell. I can't explain it...I don't know where it is coming from...but it is constant. It has been there for a few days now. I have done the obvious throwing away of all old food. I have removed every potentially old veggie or fruit...and still...the smell remains. So today...it was me against the fridge. I literally removed every old condiment, spice, drink, and anything that had the thought of going bad in the next few days. I removed every drawer and shelf. I deep cleaned each one of them. I scrubbed with a sponge and bleach. I used windex for a beautiful shine. I mean...you could basically eat off of any area in my fridge. One would now start to think..."so...why are you writing all of this? I mean...do you want a cookie for cleaning out your fridge?" Oh no...no...no cookie needed. I am writing all of this so you have a  reason to read this next part. Because my friends...this...this is where it gets good...or actually horribly wrong depending on how you look at it. In my haste to throw everything away and clean in a hurry...I had put everything from the fridge in one large trash bag. And this wasn't a wimpy trash bag. No...this was one of those heavy duty...hold everything...I could even fit in it....trash bag. I did not realize how much I had thrown away. Most of it was condiments or items in glass bottles. No biggie...all I had to do was get it outside to our trash dumpster. It was heavy...but I was up for the challenge. I started to pick it up and I could see a few holes forming. Still...I was not alarmed. I literally only had to make a short walk out of my kitchen...through the back door...and around the side of the house. I got this! I could see a little bit of red liquid on my kitchen floor...but I still wasn't worries about it. I got out the back door and made sure to keep the dogs outside. I did not want them to get inside and somehow get in to the small amount of liquid that had seeped it's way on to the floor (in hindsight...I am a moron and should have brought them inside...but you know...live and learn). I was trying to lift the bag gently over the puppies and around the outdoor furniture. Now... I am beginning to feel some liquid on my feet as I try to maneuver this bag to our outside trash bin. No worries...I still got this and I am getting ready to hop in the shower right after this so I can see fairies and hear angles singing while I have a couple hours of alone time. Our newest puppy is now trying to jump on on me and the bag. She is excited to see me and she probably smells some potential snacks in the larger-than-santas-Christmas bag-bag I am carrying. I notice that there is now a large red liquid trail behind me. I am trying to keep the puppies attention...while keeping her off of the bag (because she is starting to rip it more)...and still trying to walk it to the trash bin. I finally get to the trash bin and I realize that she is now licking the red liquid. I set the bag down and try to get her to stop. Our other dog steps in and seems to be a great distraction for her. I then try to pick up the now seeping trash bag only to realize that the bottom has dropped out and one EVERYTHING from my fridge is on the concrete in front of my trash bin. I also notice that the red liquid is coming from a Frank's bottle that has somehow been demolished in the trip (if you don't know what Frank's is...it is a condiment similar to a mix of hot wing sauce and tabasco). The new puppy is now again interested in the seeping liquids, so I pick her up to bring her inside with me so I can get some paper towels and a few new trash bags. But...you have to remember that there was already some liquid spillage in the kitchen...so as soon as I walk in the house...with a squirmy puppy in my arms...I slide on the liquid and fall. Don't worry...I held the puppy the entire time...she was good. Now...I am trying to get up with the puppy in my arms and I grab the extra paper towels and trash bags. I head back outside and put the puppy down in the grass...away from the trash explosion. I am now trying to pick up the trash and put it in new trash bags...so I can put those in the outside trash bin.  Enter the realization that there is broken glass all around because some of the bottles...including the Frank's bottle...have been completely smashed. As I am trying to carefully pick up the pieces of glass...I see the puppy trying to eat the Frank's sauce. I run over to her...and I obviously step right on a piece of glass...covered in hot sauce. Because of course...I am in bare feet...because why wouldn't I be? So Now I am holding a puppy with Frank's all over her mouth...and I am realizing that I have a piece of glass in my foot...WITH hot sauce on it. I'm guessing you can imagine how that feels...but let me explain it. Not only is there a stabbing pain of having glass in  your foot...but there is a lovely after shock of hot sauce shooting through the open wound that the glass has caused...it was AWESOME! Now...I am sitting on my outdoor furniture with the puppy still in my arms...while I am trying to get glass out of my foot. Do you want to know what happens next?!? The puppy pukes...like everywhere...it is also awesome! I set her down and head back to the pile of trash. I finally get all of the trash in the trash bin, and I head to the hose so I can try to spray down the concrete. I turn on the hose only to realize that my same sweet puppy has somehow chewed off the nozzle from the hose. So...water is now spraying everywhere (I mean...I can't even make this stuff up). I grabbed the hose...which has now pretty much soaked me...and I head over to the concrete to start spraying it down. The puppies are now in the grass (maybe because they didn't want to get wet...or maybe out of fear of their crazy looking momma)...but either way...they are out of the way now. I spray down everything and get all of the glass picked up. I then realize that I am still bleeding and stinging...so I head back inside. One would think that I would remember that my kitchen floor is still wet...and that my feet are soaked from the hose...but oh no...I don't remember that. So I literally look like a baby calf  trying to ice skate through my kitchen. I didn't fall though...so I consider that a win. I clean out my foot and then finally mop and disinfect my kitchen floor. Currently...I am watching "Say Yes To the Dress" with my foot elevated while drinking a coffee. There are no fairy sightings...and no angels are singing...but there is also no smell in my kitchen. So basically...I win...or at least that is what I am telling myself.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

The Sisterhood

Today was a goosebumps giving, love sharing, super inspiring, thought provoking, stance taking, and a history making kind of day. And...let me say this right off the bat...THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL POST! No matter what political party you affiliate with...we are all humans. This is a HUMAN thought...specifically a human women thought. Today I was able to talk to my daughter a lot about what was happening not only in DC today, but around the world. Women were standing together in a common bond to support one another. Whether or not you  agree with everything they stood for, or perhaps you stood with them...that is completely not my point! We stood together...just for each other. Not for the skinny or curvy, not for the momma or business woman, not for the highly educated or inexperienced, not for the well-to-do or for the less fortunate...nope today...we just stood...TOGETHER! I have often listened to Beyonces song..."Run the World", and I have thought to myself...one main reason that we don't run the world is because we are too busy tearing each other down. Yup...you heard me. As women...we have this horrible thing that we do. We judge....A LOT. And we don't only do it internally, we bring in other women on it.
"Did you see what she is wearing?"
"Did you hear about what her husband did?"
"Can you believe how she lets her children run around like that?"
"Can you believe how she has let herself go?"
"No wonder she's not married"
" I wonder why she isn't married?"
"Why hasn't she had children yet?"
"I don't understand why she doesn't want to help support her family"
"She works so much...she must neglect her family"
"I can't believe should would be in that march today!"
"I can't believe she didn't march today!"
"She's too soft"
"She's too hard"
"She's too feminine"
"She's too masculine"
Do any of these sound familiar? Maybe they came from our own mouths, or maybe we have heard one or more of these said about us. It's ridiculous. I hate it. I want us to stop it.
Today I heard about my daughters dreams. She wants to go to Juliard for college. She wants to be on Broadway. She doesn't even want to think about getting married until her mid to late thirties, and kids are not even a thought for her yet. She's independent. Sometimes fiercely so. I never have to check to see if her homework is completed....I know it is. I never have to check her grades...I know they are all A's or at least will be. I never have to ask her if she is ready for an audition...She has already been practicing for over a month. She is strong willed, she loves being able to out-push-up some of the boys in her gym class, she tends to be a perfectionist, she is not a fan of having to ask for help...BUT...on the flip side...she is sweet, she cares for her friends...DEEPLY, she cries when one of her friends is sad, seeing a homeless person rips her heart out of her chest, she loves everything pink and sparkly, and buying her a pedicure might be one of the fastest ways to her heart. She is the reason I love being a woman. There is so much strength, softness, beauty, compassion, stubbornness, grace, elegance, knowledge and brut force in all of us. It's amazing!! And today...we were able to show that. We showed all of that in marching. We showed it in not marching. We showed it in supporting. We showed it in our silence. We...we as women had a day to be us. There are so many of us. We are all amazing and unique in our own ways. We are human. We love. We fight. We care for. We disagree with. We support. We run businesses. We run homes. We stand our ground...many times with differing views of each other...and that is ok. I just want all of us to not let our differing views and personalities to matter more to each other than our sisterhood does. I don't expect all of us to be best friends...but I feel like if we gave one another a little more of a chance...we could find a common ground with one another. I feel like it might be time to make Beyonces song a true one...but we can only do that if we truly find a way to love each other...just for being in the same sisterhood...just for being women.
If you are strong and independent...I admire you. If you are a democrat...I love your views. If you are a republican...I appreciate your views as well. If you never want to be married or have children...good for you...I hope you get out of life everything that you ever wanted. If all you want to do is be married and raise babes...that's awesome...I hope you find so much fulfillment in that. If you want to be the best business woman ever...I applaud you...you go for it. If you want to be the biggest dreamer there ever was...please keep dreaming...we need more of you. If you want to be the strongest and hardest woman ever...that's amazing and I can't wait to see what you accomplish. If you want to be the softest and most compassionate women that you can be...I so appreciate that and I love your heart for others. If you want to be a mixture of all of these things listed above...that is beyond wonderful and I can't wait to see the amazingly beautiful force you have in this world.
Whether you agree or disagree with the reason behind the marches today...I hope we can all see that we as women can be a force to be reckoned with...for good! My heart is smiling at the fact that my daughter can grow up in a country where women unite for one another...where we come together to encourage and stand up for one another. Our views and beliefs will always differ...but our sisterhood will always remain the same. Let's chose to be good sisters to one another...lets chose to love each other...lets chose to enourage, support, and believe in one another.  I don't care if we ever "run the world" (ok...that's a lie...I kind of do care)...but I hope that someday we can look back on this very day and realize that as women...we were a part of history...and we were a part of the start of something beautiful.