Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Oh my not so little man

My son Ty is starting high school tomorrow...yes...HIGH SCHOOL!! I mean...I'm not even sure how that happened (yes...I understand HOW it happened...I just can't believe it)! As I try to process the fact that my little man is taller than me (even in my heels), has broader shoulders than I do, has hair under his armpits (like a lot), and has a lower voice than most men I know...I might be making a little list of "Things that I would love for him to know and remember this year". I'm sure I will edit these before I actually tell them to him...but you all get this first draft because we all know that the non-edited lists are always better. So here it goes...

1 - Be yourself - Like for real. You have grown up so much these last few months...physically, socially, mentally, and maturity wise. Like...even if you weren't my son...I would be proud of you and wish you were my boy. You are funny...most of the time. I mean...when you get a good joke in...know when to stop. Leave on a high note and make 'em wanting more of that funny...but be you. Be artsy. Be a guitarist. Wear deep v-neck shirts because you have a great collarbone and they look great on you (they might not always...but in your case they probably will because I have prayed over you for years to get your daddy's metabolism...you're welcome). Be sensitive and caring...just not too sensitive...because I don't want you to get your feelings hurt easily. But be the caring sweet heart that you always are. Be you boo...beause YOU are amazing and sweet and kind and smart and funny and creative and handsome and thoughtful and talented and so much more!
2- Girls - this one might be long...sorry. Oh boo...girls can be crazy...and that's ok. You just need to learn the right kind of crazy for you (because truthfully...some girl is learning how to understand your kind of crazy...and one day all the crazy will fit together). Are you ready for this? Some of your mommas advice for you on girls...because you know...I am one.
 - Listen to how they speak to their parents...especially their dad. Honestly...it will probably be the way they speak to you. Watch to see if they respect their parents. I know what you might be thinking...her parents might be TERRIBLE (I know that was sarcastic...but thruthfully... they actually might be...and even if they are...still watch how she handles herself with them). You would be amazed to know that this is the age when personalities and habits start to really form for your adult life (I can't believe I just said "adult life" when referring to you...hold please...I need to wipe tears). Watch how they treat their family and their closest friends. Watch how they treat waiters and waitresses. Watch how they treat the janitor. I'm promising you...these things matter. Nice matters. Kind matters. Being a sweetheart matters. ALL of these things will matter to you not only now...but later on in life!
 - Emotions. Man...there are a lot of girl emotions at this age. Heck...YOU have a lot of boy emotions at this age. It's ok. BUT...emotions should never run your life. They are real. They make you feel (good and bad). They can help. They can also harm. Believe me when I say this boo...watch for a girl who is not always on an emotional roller coaster. I get a few "off" days, but if there is a daily different "issue", "problem", "reason to cry", "reason to be angry", or "reason to just act wrong based on emotions"...RUN. Like...don't physically run (because we both know that sports isn't really your thing)...but don't let yourself get too attached to that type of a person. I promise you...you will thank me for this advice. Please don't think that you can "fix" every girl that you meet. You don't need to feel that to have worth you have to fix a girl. There will be times in life when you will help, love, support, encourage, and comfort your significant other...but never put pressure on yourself to "fix" anyone...just don't do it!
 - Beauty. I get it...beauty is important. Being attracted to someone is important. I still think your daddy is hot...and I love that! BUT...please don't let outer beauty be the only thing you look at. Find an intelligent girl. A girl that likes to read and likes to get good grades. A girl that can have an intellectual conversation with you about space, religion, science, or ANYTHING that interests either one of you. I know you...you are a talker...like a long talker. Look for a girl that likes to talk...but also likes to listen. Look for a girl whose smile and laughter makes your heart feel fuzzy. Look for a girl who isn't afraid to laugh or be silly. The BEST times you will have with a girl will involve laughter...like real belly laughs! That is where the magic happens.
 - Girls that are friends. Girl friends are great. Truly. Have girls that are friends...that you are not interested in. They will help you understand females better and they will be great judges of character with other girls. You will also be able to help them with motives of other boys. True girl friends will be such a great investment for you. And...you might end up liking one or more of them from time to time...it's normal...don't stress.
 - Talk to me about girls. Not all the time...or every day...but let's catch up once in a while about girls. You and I are pretty good at hard conversations. I love that about us! Let's keep it up. I promise that I will do my best to not butt in when you don't want me to. I also promise that I am pretty good when  it comes to discernment. And I also promise that I will totally help you in a girl crisis and I will even write strange and difficult texts for you when you don't know how to respond (don't judge...I'm not above it...and I may have already done it)! Lastly...I promise whenever there is a girl in your life that you think may be sticking around for a while...I will welcome her in to our home and hearts...promise! I know one day you have to love another lady even more than you can ever love me...and I want that for you...someday...but not today...or anytime soon! Geez...I am tearing up again and this is supposed to be about high school...I should just shut up! Enough about girls!
3 - Judging - Please don't be judge-y of people boo. Daddy and I definitely have values and morals that we have tried to model to you and teach you...but we don't judge anyone else that might not have those same values. Love people boo. Love them well. Love them for who they are. You will make the biggest difference in someone's life if you love them well. Be the type of person that you would want to hang out with.
4 - School Work - Try. Like really try. I know you are super smart...and I know you can get super distracted. Grades matter now buddy. Set in your mind to do such a great job in school. I will help you. I will stay on top of your projects and homework assignments. I will remind you often about what you need to do...but you have to be the one to do the work and get good grades. I KNOW you can do it boo, and I am so proud of what you have already accomplished!
5 - Some people stink - Sometimes...no matter how nice or kind you are...some people are just mean. I'm sorry. You may never know what their home life is, how they have been treated in life, or why they are just plain mean. And...they will probably be mean to you. I'm sorry. There will be days when your feelings get hurt, and you are frustrated. That's ok. It happens. Just always know that not everyone is that way. Also know that you get to come home every day to a momma that thinks you are fiercely wonderful and amazing...and if I could I would beat up every little punk who is mean to you (although that seems to contradict the "love everyone" stuff ...it is really your momma just being protective! I do want you to love everyone...but that doesn't mean you have to interact with everyone).
6 - Hygiene - Smell good. It's a thing. Make sure you do it. I will always have cologne stocked for you in our home. You're welcome
7 - Gossip - Just don't do it. It's never worth it. If there is an issue with a friend of yours...address it with them. I promise you...it might be hard...but it is always worth it. Especially when you are older. Just don't talk bad about people in a group buddy...and don't be friends with people who do. If they talk bad about their "friends" they will probably talk bad about you too.
8 - Cell Phone - I get it...we are all on our phones all of the time. They connect us with others and they have the best features, games, and apps ever. I'm not saying to never use your phone (I would be a hypocrite to say that)...BUT...have moments when you put it away. Have a real face to face conversation with a friend. Lie in the grass and look at the clouds once in a while. Take a bike ride and tun your phone off. Have a meal with a friend and leave your phone in your pocket. Take a nature hike and just breathe in the moment instead of taking pictures of everything. Keep your phone...it's great technology...but make sure that your nose is not glued to the screen 24/7.
9 - Proud - I wanted to have a list of 9 things because you are going in to the 9th grade (see what I did there?!?)...but I just want this last thought to let you know that I am proud of you. Just you. Not your accomplishments (although I love them), not the chores you do around the house (although they are so super helpful), not your talents (although you are super gifted), and not even your wisdom (although your care and compassion and quest for knowledge are far beyond your years). Buddy...I am proud of just you. Who you are at your core. Flaws and all. And nothing you could ever do would make me love you less.You are my boy...and you always will be!

So...go get 'em! Go be awesome in high school. Learn. Create. Make friends. Have fun. Make mistakes. Make good decisions. Make bad decisions (you will learn from them...but for my blood pressures sake...try not to make too many of those). Be you buddy...and know that your momma is with you every step of the way (just not in a creepy way...like I won't actually take steps with you at school...unless you want me to...and I totally will...but I am pretty sure as much as I would love that...you would hate that...so I would never actually do that...because I'm not THAT crazy...or at least I try to hide it. Also...don't write run-on sentences like I do...I am terrible at that...kind of like right now).  I love you boo! - Momma

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Linger

Have you ever had a thought that just kept bubbling up inside of you? Almost an idea that you just can't stop thinking about? I have had that for almost a week now, and in light of recent events, I am going to try my hardest to put that thought in to words. In the last 24 hours I have heard or read of so much loss and sadness. The horrific attacks in Paris. The sudden passing of a co-worker of mine (he left behind a wife, beautiful young children, and countless friends). A wife, mom, and grandma dealing with her third round of cancer that just won't relent on her. A brain tumor in a young client of mine with one baby and one on the way. A wife and mother killed in a home invasion. A sweet family losing their grandfather after his car broke down and he was accidentally hit by another vehicle. A young couple having to deliver a still born child. Even another family learning the news that their beloved dad and grandpa has an aggressive form of cancer. MY. HEART. HURTS. I can't even fathom the sadness, pain and tears that just these events have brought and will continue to bring for the days, weeks, and months to come. I am reminded again that life truly is short...we are never promised tomorrow.
Because of these reminders, I want to try to get my thoughts out as a challenge; maybe even just a challenge for me. If I was giving a pep talk to myslef right now I would say "slow down...breathe in deeply...listen...watch...enjoy...be present". To put it in an even simpler way, I would tell myself to "linger". The definition of the word linger is, "to stay in place longer than necessary, typically because of a relluctance to leave" and "to remain alive; continue to persist although gradually dying". I love these definitions because they perfectly describe what my heart wants to scream right now. More than ever I find myself saying "I'll do that when...", "let me just finish...", or "give me just a few days then we can...". Believe me, I am so aware of resposibilites, duties, and priorities. I know that we all wear so many different "hats" in our day to day lives. We are spouses, students, parents, employees, volunteers, coaches, sons/daughters, brothers/sisters, cleaners, organizers, planners, and so much more. Our lives get busier and busier. Sometimes they are busy with wonderful and lovely things, but sometimes, even the lovely things fly past us before we even realize their beauty. I want to take time to linger in just a few moments every day. I can't promise that my resposibilities will ever decrease, or that my time will somehow multiply, but I can at least try to enjoy a few more moments in every day.
 Last night our family put up our Christmas tree. I have to be honest...normally the family decorates the Christmas tree, and when everyone goes to bed...I go back and "fix" it so it looks well put together. This year, I stood back and looked at our tree and tears started to fill my eyes. The ornaments were not hung perfectly or spaced out correctly. The angel topper was crooked. The ribbon wrapped around the tree was not even. There were some empty spaces where ornaments could still go. But you know what? It. Was. Perfect. For the first time in years...I didn't change a thing. It was filled with memories of handmade gifts, and annual trips to pick out our special ornaments. It was full of life and sparkle, and for once...I took a step back to just linger in the moment of a beautiful memory being made. It wasn't a long moment...but it was a moment that I rarely take. And you know what? It caused a few more moments to happen. I hugged my little girl a few minutes longer when I tucked her in. I listened to Ty talk about his science project without reminding him that he needed to "go to bed soon". I even held my husbands hand as he fell asleep. Truly, all of those things probably took a total of 15 minutes "extra" in my day. I didn't have to rearrange my entire schedule and they didn't make me late for an appointment. They just took a thought to linger for a few minutes longer in each situation that I was in.
 My Dad passed away in August very unexpectedly, and I would give pretty much anything to be able to get one more big bear hug from him. I still smell his shirt at least a few times a week just to remember his smell...even though I know it is etched in to my memory and heart...but I just want to make sure that I don't forget. I close my eyes and remember taking moments with him to just sit and talk...he was great at that. He probably hated the fact that his life wasn't as fast paced as it used to be...but he taught me to just "sit and be" sometimes. And, somehow...I have forgotten that. In the business and the "doing" of life...I forget to linger every now and then. I almost don't even realize how wonderful my life truly is. I get so caught up in the day to day that I forget how amazingly blessed I am. I want to re-train myself to take even just a few moments everyday to just breathe in life and linger in the beauty of it.
It is my hope that at least a few times a week I will... 
- Snuggle my babes for just a few extra minutes
 - Take time to look at a sunset and breathe in the beaty of it
 - Hold my husbands hand as we fall asleep
 - Call a friend just to tell them that I love them
 - Sit in front of my Christmas tree and just feel the glow from the lights
 - Look into my husbands and eyes and tell him that I love him...for no particular reason...just because I do
 - Look up at the stars and just be so impressed at how they twinkle
 - Read something intriguing or encouraging
 - Breathe in a few deep breaths of pure thankfulness for the life I have been given
 - Take a few minutes every day to just linger in any situation I am in
None of these will take longer than a few minutes, but I feel like if I can add all of them up in a week...I will look back and realize that I took some special moments and I made them in to memories. The beauty of memories...is that you can always take them with you. They become a part of you...you can't lose them. We aren't promised tomorrow, but we have today. I am excited that I still have the opportunity to linger and I want to make the most of those few moments every day.

Monday, May 18, 2015

14 years

I could apologize that I haven't blogged in...oh...4ish years...but thats no fun. So instead...I am just going to start blogging like I have never left off....here we go...

14 years ago today, I was packing up what little I had from an apartment that I shared with a few girlfriends, to move into an even tinier apartment that I was going to share with my future husband in only 8 days. I was trying to get a beautiful white dress tailored properly for the 3rd time...I was trying to pack up everything I owned in to a 1982 Bright blue Geo Prism...and I was trying to not freak about about the fact that in a little over a week I was going to be MARRIED!! Looking back on that week...I wonder what I would have told that crazy, 20 year old, naive girl...if I had the chance to time travel back to her. I think I would just hug her and tell her through tear filled eyes that she was about to have the best adventure! I would tell her that even though she loved her soon-to-be-husband now...she really had no idea what love was...but she would learn...and she would somehow love him more every year. I would tell her that she was going to have two of the most wonderful children ever...and that somehow having those babes would make her love her husband even more than she thought possible. I would tell her that she would have many nights that she feared she wasn't "doing the parent thing" or "the wife thing" right. I would tell her that some nights she was going to fall asleep so frustrated...but other nights...most nights...she would fall asleep with the biggest smile on her face. I would tell her to breathe more and think less....to enjoy spontaneous moments...and to let her husband grab her butt in public soooooo much earlier than year 13 (because he would only grab it for a second...when no one was watching...but it would always mean the world to him that you let him do it). I would tell her to not have an attitude so quickly...especially during her first few years of marraige. I would tell her to stop being so stubborn all the time...to listen more and talk less...to take more moments to love deeply and just smile sweetly. I would tell her that some moments...some months...even some years were going to be hard...like really hard. But I would tell her that they would make it through them just fine. I would tell her that she doesn't always have to be perfect...and I would tell her that a few amazing girlfriends in her life would walk through hard times with her...and that they didn't expect her to be perfect either. As a matter of fact...somehow they loved her even more in her inperfections. I would tell her that her husband would love her imperfections too...even the ones that she is going to try to hide...he will somehow love those the most...because those imperfections will remind him that she really does need him...even when she tries to act all independant. I would tell her that 14 years later...to the date...she will be sitting in a car after a super successful business meeting (I would propbably also have to tell her that she would be a business woman someday)...headed home to her husband and sweet babes...and the last 14 years will just hit her. Like a huge wave of emotion...and she will smile...and cry...and laugh...and she will have memories flash through her minds eye...and each one will bring more of a smile to her tear stained face as she remembers the beauty in the last 14 years. I would tell her that in that moment she will be overwhelmed that not only had they made it 14 years...but now they were even better than they ever had been...and they were only going to get better.
And, I would think to tell her all of these things...but I would stop myself. Because I would know that she will need all of the lessons she will learn through those 14 years...and she will be such a better person, wife, mom, friend, and daughter because of them. Instead...I would just hug her...and tell her that she is making the best decision she will ever make. I would look in to that 20 year olds face and tell her how excited I am for her, and I would tell her that I couldn't wait to talk to her in 14 years...so we could hug again...and realize...how thankful we are for the life and love we have been given.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Pig-tails


This little babe sure does make me smile. I realized last week that her sweet little lisp is gone...I am not even sure when it happened...but she says her "S's" quite perfectly now. I also realized that she just doesn't really have any of her "baby-face-roundness" anymore either. But...I do know that she still asks me to do her hair in pig-tails...which makes her look 100% girly...and I LOVE that!

Monday, March 7, 2011

My goodness...I love this little man

I had a date night with my little man last week...it was wonderful. we went to KFC (his choice) and then I surprised him by taking him back home and telling him we were going to have a wii sports resort game night. The smile on his face was priceless when I told him (You see...I like to play a game or two...but I am really not the "play for almost 2 hours" type of momma), and he let me know that, "He loved me...but I was definitely going down!" We seriously had the best time laughing and trash talking to each other (if you would have been a fly on my wall...you would have heard phrases like "You just got served!", "You just bought a one way ticket to looserville", "Who's winning now?!?", and "ok...ok...re-match...I don't think my controller was being picked up by the receiver") It was just one of those nights that nothing "special" happened...but I fell in love with my sweet little man all over again. It was amazing to just play games with him and have fun...not worrying about homework, cleaning, multiplication flash cards, and all of the business of life. For those few hours I just got to focus on my Ty man...and it was wonderful. I am so blessed to be his momma...he is seriously the sweetest and most amazing little man I know.
As I tucked him in that night I gave him a kiss and told him that I loved him sooo much. He just smiled his cute little boy grin and said "I love you too mom". I walked out of his bedroom and began to shut the door behind me...when I heard him whisper, "Mom!". I opened his door a crack and he looked at me with his big blue eyes and said, "Seriously, the best night ever mom!".
Goodness gracious...I just love him!

Friday, February 25, 2011

New "glasses"

Little miss Maddie has wanted a pair of glasses for a while now (yes...they are fake...and bright purple...and she has been looking at them every time we go into the Icing store) Well today she had almost enough allowance money AND a cute little face to get the rest of what she needed from her sweet Daddy. She has worn them everywhere today...she couldn't be more happy! As soon as we got home she told me that we needed to take a picture together because, "Now everyone will think we look even MORE alike Momma!!" I am just glad she still thinks she wants to look like me!!
Don't you just want to squeeze her cute little face?!?

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Random thoughts of the day


- I used to think squirrels were cute...but when I was at a stop light this morning I saw one...and I realized that they are just overgrown mice with big tails...Yuck!
- Even though I just got my hair completely platinum blonde I am already thinking about adding in some black streaks...I have hair-changing issues
- I cannot wait for my Grammy date with this amazing lady. I am DVRing it for us to watch it later in the week. We kind of LOVE commentating on all of the fashion and musical acts. I think we might have issues as well :-)
- I know that I am a little bias...but I am pretty sure I have the best babes in the world...seriously! They have been amazing while Dustin has been gone and they are pretty much amazing all of the time. To say I am thankful for them would be a HUGE understatement!! I am so blessed
- I am on a new roasted marshmallow kick. I use my creme brulee torch and roast marshmallows for the babes...they love it...and I say that I do it for them...but I love it too
- Hot chocolate made with almond milk is my new favorite dessert.
- I love high heel shoes...like REALLY love them...like I have a problem. But I always buy them on sale...like REALLY good sales. I am actually working on a shoe wall in my bedroom. Why shouldn't they be displayed as art? Please don't judge me
- If money was no object...I would completely redecorate my entire house from IKEA. Furniture, lighting, decorations, accessories...I love them all.
- I am SO done with winter
- I think I have some of the most amazing friends in the world...I am blessed
- I would love to be a world traveler. The thought of just picking up and heading off on an exotic adventure just sounds like the best thing ever to me
- I LOVE to bake and I would love to have a bakery/coffee shop someday
- I talk to my mom almost every morning...either on my way to work or after I drop off the babes at school. I love that
- Sometimes I secretly wish I was a rockstar...but I am married to one...so it is almost just as good...almost
- I went to high school and college with this amazing lady...although I am pretty sure we hardly ever talked. I found her blog a while ago and I think we would totally be friends if we lived closer. She is a great mom and I pretty much love her sassiness and views on life in general...isn't the blog world wonderful?!?
- I am so thankful for my job. I pretty much get to chose my hours and the people in my office are tons of fun!
- I only have two more nights until I get to hug my hottie-po-tottie husband. Can.Not.Wait
- I desperately want to go to Africa with Dustin soon...we are working on it
- I LOVE the show Criminal Minds but I cannot watch it by myself
- Reality TV sucks me in...all of it. I don't know why I find it so fascinating. That is probably another issue I have
- I think I may have a lot of issues
- I want to move south or west someday...I am even good with southwest
- I hope that my children will always be proud that I am their momma...and I hope we are always close. I pray for that every day.
- I think that throwing a good party is a lost art...I want to throw a fun party soon.
- I really want to go to Boston to see my sweet Kate