Sunday, August 13, 2017

They do it every year

Somehow...these sweet babes of something terrible every year. They know my favorite momma title is "summer mom"...they know our family loves late night grilling dinners...they know how much I love a good pool day with them...they know how great outdoor fire pits and s'mores are...they know I love them home with me...BUT...they still have to start school every year. And yes...I still tear up on the first day of school...and yes...I know I am crazy! School just started and Maddie actually caught me tearing up in the car when Ty walked in to school. Of Maddie fashion...she put her sweet hand on my shoulder and said "He will be fine momma...I will be fine too...we go this!"...which of course made me tear up even more! As I drove away from her school I started thinking of some things I would love to share with them...right now...exactly at the ages they are at. So...I thought a list might be a theaputic way for me to deal with them growing up...and maybe even help them through out this year. And...since they are both so different and at such different stages of life...I figured I would make a list for each of them.
Here it goes...
Maddie -
1 - PLEASE stay sweet. I truly love your sassy sense of humor...but make sure that the sass stays there. Don't be one of the mean girls...ever! I promise is always better to be sweet and kind. Even if you don't feel like you "win" in a will always sleep better at night knowing that you tried to be nice. Nice matters baby girl...and it always will!
2 - Keep your girlfriends. You have some pretty stinking amazing girl friends. Like...for real...their mommas have done an amazing job! All of them are different and all of them bring different lights to your life. They will annoy you (here is a will annoy them too at times. I know...I am sure you just can little miss perfect be annoying?!? :-) Don't will all annoy each other from time to time). Look past what annoys you and find the good in them. Relationships always go through ups and downs...but the good girlfriends who really love you...keep them...close! They will walk through a lot with you and their love and support will be invaluable. They will also be the best people to eat chocolate with when a boy breaks your heart...which brings me to my next point...
3 - Boys...UGH! Boys are so weird at this stage....and kind of! Don't let any boy determine your value. He can't. Don't let him! With that being's ok and even fun to have crushes...just make sure you still always tell me about them while we have our coffee dates. is so great just to have guy friends! I promise you...find some boys that are just your friend. They will totally help you and give you such a different perspective on any issues you might have. I promise you...good guy friends will stay with you through out high school!
4 - Please stay "weird". I know you pride yourself on your weird faces and goofy jokes...keep those. Don't take yourself too seriously. SO many girls at your age already do...or they might start...don't follow that trend. Be funny. Be silly. Make weird faces in selfies. Don't feel the need to always be perfect or look perfect. Have fun. Don't stress outfits and hair every morning. Be okay to just be you...and try to hang out with other people who are the same way
5 - Perfection is unattainable. You HAVE to hear this one sweetness. I know you. You cannot always be perfect. You will mess up. You will get a B every now and then (gasp). You will not always get the part you want in the plays you do. You will mess up and audition...and probably multiple auditions. You will have off days when you have an attitude. You will fail some times. It's OK! I promise! Not always being perfect will teach you SO much! You are not and never will be a failure! It's just not in you. But be ok to be "off" every once in a while. I will always be here with a coffee date and a pedicure...and that will ALWAYS help. I got you sweetie...and whether you are having the best day or the worst day...whether you were amazing or if you screwed up royally...whether you get the part or not...I am always proud of you and I will always believe in you. Always, always, ALWAYS!!
6 - Growing up is a part of life. You will go through weird phases and you and I might even go through some weird phases. It's ok. Hormones will come and go...fads will come and go...interests will come and go...but baby girl...I will always be in your corner rooting you on. You've got this. My little A type girl can conquer almost anything you put your mind to...and I love that. Just know that growing up will come in stages. Some of those stages will be amazing...some...won't be our favorites...but your momma will be with you every step of the way and we will tackle them together.
7 - Keep singing baby girl. I love that you still break out in to a song and tap dance when we are in line at the grocery store. Keep that. Maybe not ALWAYS when we are out in public :-)...but keep that song in your heart. Go after what you love the most. Keep practicing what you love and always remember "Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard".
8 - You are loved...endlessly. Always remember that you are so loved by your dad and I...and so many other amazing people. This year will be amazing for you...and on the days that you don't feel the amazing-ness...just remember that you are loved and an amazing day will come again soon.

1 - Be you. Goodness I love you boo. I love your long winded stories that you tell. I love your intelligence and love of all things science. I love your artsy side and your creativity. Don't change any of that. Be you buddy...even if you are different...and even if you are the same as others. Don't work so hard to be an individual that you lose who you really are...and don't ever try too hard to fit in that you lose who you are. Just. Be. You. Because you are my favorite!
2 - Stay sweet. You are such a sweet and thoughtful kid. Please don't ever change. You might get hurt..and people might take advantage of you...that's ok. Being sweet and kind will always be the right choice. And...if anyone ever does hurt just let me know...and I will never tell you where the body is hidden (I'm kidding...kind of...not really). Keep loving everyone...from all different backgrounds and beliefs. Many times the people that seem the most "different", are the people that will enrich and change your life for the better. Don't stress about who is a "cool kid"...just love people.
3 - Keep your head in the clouds. I know...I know... I have spent years trying to help you focus and stay on task...and you really are doing so much better at that...I am so proud of you.'s ok to keep your head in the clouds. Keep imagining...keep creating...keep exploring...keep looking at the stars. I will help you stay on task when you need to...and I will remind you if you forget. But try so hard to keep a good balance of "staying on top of things" along with being the wonderful and sometimes absent minded you...because I love that you (as long as that you still finishes his homework and projects and still does his chores)!
4 - Keep giving me hugs randomly. You will never know how much it means to my heart when you randomly hug me and tell you that you love me. There is just something magical about it..and I notice each one. I notice each hug while I cook dinner...I remember the random hugs while I am rushing around with heart melts when you rush over to me and hug me in front of your friends. Even if I don't make a huge deal about then...I love your hugs. And I love that you are never ashamed to give them to me. Thank you boo.
5 - Girls...UGH! I know you have a special someone right now...and I know she means a ton to you. Thank you for telling me so much about her. Thank you for wanting me to know details about the two of you. Thank you for being open and honest. I am so happy that you are happy. With that being said...if you ever aren't happy...or if you need help...or advice...or a way out...Please know that I am here. You are so thoughtful and I want to make sure that your heart is always being filled and that you are being loved on as well. Don't ever settle buddy. Don't ever think that you are "stuck" in a high school aren't.  You have so much to offer and this momma bear will always be pretty protective of your heart...sorry not sorry!
6 - Lets always talk. I know you are getting to an age that talking can be over rated...and I totally get that...but...lets always take some time to talk and catch up. Maddie and I have coffee dates and pedicures...which makes it a little easier for her and I to talk and catch up. You and I will have to work a little harder at it...but I want to make sure that we both put in the effort. Drag me out of the house some nights when you are looking at stars...remind me that we need to catch up. ok if I drag you on some shopping errands...I am only doing it so I can get a pulse on where you are at...and most likely you will still get a cool pair of shoes out of the shopping it's still a win!
7 - Keep writing songs. I know they frustrate you sometimes...and I know that the words don't always come easily...but keep writing. And keep your songs in a journal. will look back on them and love some of them...laugh at others...and have possible new songs based off of them. But I promise will be happy that you wrote and you will be happy that you kept them. Daddy and I still love looking back through his old songs...and maybe someday you will look back at them with someone special in your life...just sayin'.
8 - You are loved...TONS! Things are going to happen this year. Some great things...and probably some hard things...that's just life. But I will ALWAYS be here for you and I will always love you...nothing can ever change that. I am tearing up again...geez...I am a mess! I am so thankful for my babes and I can't wait to see what this year has in store for them. 2017/2018 school year...Here we come!

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Real life

This morning I woke up early to get the babes ready for their fun days. Maddie was headed out to go bowling with her girl friends from youth group and Ty needed to get ready for a day of fishing with the boys. I packed lunches and snacks for Ty, got his fishing pole ready, headed to the ATM so they both had money, grabbed a quick breakfast for them, and got them where they needed to be. I came back home and I was ready to clean out my fridge super quick so I could get on with my morning. Dustin is out of town and I honestly couldn't even remember the last time I had a few hours to myself on a for real...could not tell you if I had a gun to my head. I had visions of browsing Ulta with a coffee in hand...walking through Target and trying on wedges that I don't need...looking through every rack at Charming Charlie's and walking out with a few new pair of earrings, and I had visions of doing all of this in rushing...just relaxing...I mean...basically fairies and Angels were in this vision (all you working mommas feel me right now...can you hear the angels singing softly?!?). So...I pulled in to my driveway and got ready to attack my fridge. And I have to be honest...I was ready for a fight. If you know know that I like a clean house. I mean...I really do. I like everything in its place and I like my house to always smell pretty (yes...I have issues). My fridge has had this just a bad smell. I can't explain it...I don't know where it is coming from...but it is constant. It has been there for a few days now. I have done the obvious throwing away of all old food. I have removed every potentially old veggie or fruit...and still...the smell remains. So was me against the fridge. I literally removed every old condiment, spice, drink, and anything that had the thought of going bad in the next few days. I removed every drawer and shelf. I deep cleaned each one of them. I scrubbed with a sponge and bleach. I used windex for a beautiful shine. I could basically eat off of any area in my fridge. One would now start to think..."so...why are you writing all of this? I you want a cookie for cleaning out your fridge?" Oh cookie needed. I am writing all of this so you have a  reason to read this next part. Because my friends...this...this is where it gets good...or actually horribly wrong depending on how you look at it. In my haste to throw everything away and clean in a hurry...I had put everything from the fridge in one large trash bag. And this wasn't a wimpy trash bag. No...this was one of those heavy duty...hold everything...I could even fit in it....trash bag. I did not realize how much I had thrown away. Most of it was condiments or items in glass bottles. No biggie...all I had to do was get it outside to our trash dumpster. It was heavy...but I was up for the challenge. I started to pick it up and I could see a few holes forming. Still...I was not alarmed. I literally only had to make a short walk out of my kitchen...through the back door...and around the side of the house. I got this! I could see a little bit of red liquid on my kitchen floor...but I still wasn't worries about it. I got out the back door and made sure to keep the dogs outside. I did not want them to get inside and somehow get in to the small amount of liquid that had seeped it's way on to the floor (in hindsight...I am a moron and should have brought them inside...but you and learn). I was trying to lift the bag gently over the puppies and around the outdoor furniture. Now... I am beginning to feel some liquid on my feet as I try to maneuver this bag to our outside trash bin. No worries...I still got this and I am getting ready to hop in the shower right after this so I can see fairies and hear angles singing while I have a couple hours of alone time. Our newest puppy is now trying to jump on on me and the bag. She is excited to see me and she probably smells some potential snacks in the larger-than-santas-Christmas bag-bag I am carrying. I notice that there is now a large red liquid trail behind me. I am trying to keep the puppies attention...while keeping her off of the bag (because she is starting to rip it more)...and still trying to walk it to the trash bin. I finally get to the trash bin and I realize that she is now licking the red liquid. I set the bag down and try to get her to stop. Our other dog steps in and seems to be a great distraction for her. I then try to pick up the now seeping trash bag only to realize that the bottom has dropped out and one EVERYTHING from my fridge is on the concrete in front of my trash bin. I also notice that the red liquid is coming from a Frank's bottle that has somehow been demolished in the trip (if you don't know what Frank's is a condiment similar to a mix of hot wing sauce and tabasco). The new puppy is now again interested in the seeping liquids, so I pick her up to bring her inside with me so I can get some paper towels and a few new trash bags. have to remember that there was already some liquid spillage in the as soon as I walk in the house...with a squirmy puppy in my arms...I slide on the liquid and fall. Don't worry...I held the puppy the entire time...she was good. Now...I am trying to get up with the puppy in my arms and I grab the extra paper towels and trash bags. I head back outside and put the puppy down in the grass...away from the trash explosion. I am now trying to pick up the trash and put it in new trash I can put those in the outside trash bin.  Enter the realization that there is broken glass all around because some of the bottles...including the Frank's bottle...have been completely smashed. As I am trying to carefully pick up the pieces of glass...I see the puppy trying to eat the Frank's sauce. I run over to her...and I obviously step right on a piece of glass...covered in hot sauce. Because of course...I am in bare feet...because why wouldn't I be? So Now I am holding a puppy with Frank's all over her mouth...and I am realizing that I have a piece of glass in my foot...WITH hot sauce on it. I'm guessing you can imagine how that feels...but let me explain it. Not only is there a stabbing pain of having glass in  your foot...but there is a lovely after shock of hot sauce shooting through the open wound that the glass has was AWESOME! Now...I am sitting on my outdoor furniture with the puppy still in my arms...while I am trying to get glass out of my foot. Do you want to know what happens next?!? The puppy is also awesome! I set her down and head back to the pile of trash. I finally get all of the trash in the trash bin, and I head to the hose so I can try to spray down the concrete. I turn on the hose only to realize that my same sweet puppy has somehow chewed off the nozzle from the hose. So...water is now spraying everywhere (I mean...I can't even make this stuff up). I grabbed the hose...which has now pretty much soaked me...and I head over to the concrete to start spraying it down. The puppies are now in the grass (maybe because they didn't want to get wet...or maybe out of fear of their crazy looking momma)...but either way...they are out of the way now. I spray down everything and get all of the glass picked up. I then realize that I am still bleeding and I head back inside. One would think that I would remember that my kitchen floor is still wet...and that my feet are soaked from the hose...but oh no...I don't remember that. So I literally look like a baby calf  trying to ice skate through my kitchen. I didn't fall I consider that a win. I clean out my foot and then finally mop and disinfect my kitchen floor. Currently...I am watching "Say Yes To the Dress" with my foot elevated while drinking a coffee. There are no fairy sightings...and no angels are singing...but there is also no smell in my kitchen. So basically...I win...or at least that is what I am telling myself.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

The Sisterhood

Today was a goosebumps giving, love sharing, super inspiring, thought provoking, stance taking, and a history making kind of day. And...let me say this right off the bat...THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL POST! No matter what political party you affiliate with...we are all humans. This is a HUMAN thought...specifically a human women thought. Today I was able to talk to my daughter a lot about what was happening not only in DC today, but around the world. Women were standing together in a common bond to support one another. Whether or not you  agree with everything they stood for, or perhaps you stood with them...that is completely not my point! We stood together...just for each other. Not for the skinny or curvy, not for the momma or business woman, not for the highly educated or inexperienced, not for the well-to-do or for the less fortunate...nope today...we just stood...TOGETHER! I have often listened to Beyonces song..."Run the World", and I have thought to main reason that we don't run the world is because we are too busy tearing each other down. heard me. As women...we have this horrible thing that we do. We judge....A LOT. And we don't only do it internally, we bring in other women on it.
"Did you see what she is wearing?"
"Did you hear about what her husband did?"
"Can you believe how she lets her children run around like that?"
"Can you believe how she has let herself go?"
"No wonder she's not married"
" I wonder why she isn't married?"
"Why hasn't she had children yet?"
"I don't understand why she doesn't want to help support her family"
"She works so much...she must neglect her family"
"I can't believe should would be in that march today!"
"I can't believe she didn't march today!"
"She's too soft"
"She's too hard"
"She's too feminine"
"She's too masculine"
Do any of these sound familiar? Maybe they came from our own mouths, or maybe we have heard one or more of these said about us. It's ridiculous. I hate it. I want us to stop it.
Today I heard about my daughters dreams. She wants to go to Juliard for college. She wants to be on Broadway. She doesn't even want to think about getting married until her mid to late thirties, and kids are not even a thought for her yet. She's independent. Sometimes fiercely so. I never have to check to see if her homework is completed....I know it is. I never have to check her grades...I know they are all A's or at least will be. I never have to ask her if she is ready for an audition...She has already been practicing for over a month. She is strong willed, she loves being able to out-push-up some of the boys in her gym class, she tends to be a perfectionist, she is not a fan of having to ask for help...BUT...on the flip side...she is sweet, she cares for her friends...DEEPLY, she cries when one of her friends is sad, seeing a homeless person rips her heart out of her chest, she loves everything pink and sparkly, and buying her a pedicure might be one of the fastest ways to her heart. She is the reason I love being a woman. There is so much strength, softness, beauty, compassion, stubbornness, grace, elegance, knowledge and brut force in all of us. It's amazing!! And today...we were able to show that. We showed all of that in marching. We showed it in not marching. We showed it in supporting. We showed it in our silence. We...we as women had a day to be us. There are so many of us. We are all amazing and unique in our own ways. We are human. We love. We fight. We care for. We disagree with. We support. We run businesses. We run homes. We stand our ground...many times with differing views of each other...and that is ok. I just want all of us to not let our differing views and personalities to matter more to each other than our sisterhood does. I don't expect all of us to be best friends...but I feel like if we gave one another a little more of a chance...we could find a common ground with one another. I feel like it might be time to make Beyonces song a true one...but we can only do that if we truly find a way to love each other...just for being in the same sisterhood...just for being women.
If you are strong and independent...I admire you. If you are a democrat...I love your views. If you are a republican...I appreciate your views as well. If you never want to be married or have children...good for you...I hope you get out of life everything that you ever wanted. If all you want to do is be married and raise babes...that's awesome...I hope you find so much fulfillment in that. If you want to be the best business woman ever...I applaud go for it. If you want to be the biggest dreamer there ever was...please keep dreaming...we need more of you. If you want to be the strongest and hardest woman ever...that's amazing and I can't wait to see what you accomplish. If you want to be the softest and most compassionate women that you can be...I so appreciate that and I love your heart for others. If you want to be a mixture of all of these things listed above...that is beyond wonderful and I can't wait to see the amazingly beautiful force you have in this world.
Whether you agree or disagree with the reason behind the marches today...I hope we can all see that we as women can be a force to be reckoned with...for good! My heart is smiling at the fact that my daughter can grow up in a country where women unite for one another...where we come together to encourage and stand up for one another. Our views and beliefs will always differ...but our sisterhood will always remain the same. Let's chose to be good sisters to one another...lets chose to love each other...lets chose to enourage, support, and believe in one another.  I don't care if we ever "run the world" (ok...that's a lie...I kind of do care)...but I hope that someday we can look back on this very day and realize that as women...we were a part of history...and we were a part of the start of something beautiful.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Oh my not so little man

My son Ty is starting high school tomorrow...yes...HIGH SCHOOL!! I mean...I'm not even sure how that happened (yes...I understand HOW it happened...I just can't believe it)! As I try to process the fact that my little man is taller than me (even in my heels), has broader shoulders than I do, has hair under his armpits (like a lot), and has a lower voice than most men I know...I might be making a little list of "Things that I would love for him to know and remember this year". I'm sure I will edit these before I actually tell them to him...but you all get this first draft because we all know that the non-edited lists are always better. So here it goes...

1 - Be yourself - Like for real. You have grown up so much these last few months...physically, socially, mentally, and maturity wise. Like...even if you weren't my son...I would be proud of you and wish you were my boy. You are funny...most of the time. I mean...when you get a good joke in...know when to stop. Leave on a high note and make 'em wanting more of that funny...but be you. Be artsy. Be a guitarist. Wear deep v-neck shirts because you have a great collarbone and they look great on you (they might not always...but in your case they probably will because I have prayed over you for years to get your daddy's're welcome). Be sensitive and caring...just not too sensitive...because I don't want you to get your feelings hurt easily. But be the caring sweet heart that you always are. Be you boo...beause YOU are amazing and sweet and kind and smart and funny and creative and handsome and thoughtful and talented and so much more!
2- Girls - this one might be long...sorry. Oh boo...girls can be crazy...and that's ok. You just need to learn the right kind of crazy for you (because truthfully...some girl is learning how to understand your kind of crazy...and one day all the crazy will fit together). Are you ready for this? Some of your mommas advice for you on girls...because you know...I am one.
 - Listen to how they speak to their parents...especially their dad. will probably be the way they speak to you. Watch to see if they respect their parents. I know what you might be thinking...her parents might be TERRIBLE (I know that was sarcastic...but thruthfully... they actually might be...and even if they are...still watch how she handles herself with them). You would be amazed to know that this is the age when personalities and habits start to really form for your adult life (I can't believe I just said "adult life" when referring to you...hold please...I need to wipe tears). Watch how they treat their family and their closest friends. Watch how they treat waiters and waitresses. Watch how they treat the janitor. I'm promising you...these things matter. Nice matters. Kind matters. Being a sweetheart matters. ALL of these things will matter to you not only now...but later on in life!
 - Emotions. Man...there are a lot of girl emotions at this age. Heck...YOU have a lot of boy emotions at this age. It's ok. BUT...emotions should never run your life. They are real. They make you feel (good and bad). They can help. They can also harm. Believe me when I say this for a girl who is not always on an emotional roller coaster. I get a few "off" days, but if there is a daily different "issue", "problem", "reason to cry", "reason to be angry", or "reason to just act wrong based on emotions"...RUN. Like...don't physically run (because we both know that sports isn't really your thing)...but don't let yourself get too attached to that type of a person. I promise will thank me for this advice. Please don't think that you can "fix" every girl that you meet. You don't need to feel that to have worth you have to fix a girl. There will be times in life when you will help, love, support, encourage, and comfort your significant other...but never put pressure on yourself to "fix" anyone...just don't do it!
 - Beauty. I get is important. Being attracted to someone is important. I still think your daddy is hot...and I love that! BUT...please don't let outer beauty be the only thing you look at. Find an intelligent girl. A girl that likes to read and likes to get good grades. A girl that can have an intellectual conversation with you about space, religion, science, or ANYTHING that interests either one of you. I know are a a long talker. Look for a girl that likes to talk...but also likes to listen. Look for a girl whose smile and laughter makes your heart feel fuzzy. Look for a girl who isn't afraid to laugh or be silly. The BEST times you will have with a girl will involve real belly laughs! That is where the magic happens.
 - Girls that are friends. Girl friends are great. Truly. Have girls that are friends...that you are not interested in. They will help you understand females better and they will be great judges of character with other girls. You will also be able to help them with motives of other boys. True girl friends will be such a great investment for you. might end up liking one or more of them from time to's normal...don't stress.
 - Talk to me about girls. Not all the time...or every day...but let's catch up once in a while about girls. You and I are pretty good at hard conversations. I love that about us! Let's keep it up. I promise that I will do my best to not butt in when you don't want me to. I also promise that I am pretty good when  it comes to discernment. And I also promise that I will totally help you in a girl crisis and I will even write strange and difficult texts for you when you don't know how to respond (don't judge...I'm not above it...and I may have already done it)! Lastly...I promise whenever there is a girl in your life that you think may be sticking around for a while...I will welcome her in to our home and hearts...promise! I know one day you have to love another lady even more than you can ever love me...and I want that for you...someday...but not today...or anytime soon! Geez...I am tearing up again and this is supposed to be about high school...I should just shut up! Enough about girls!
3 - Judging - Please don't be judge-y of people boo. Daddy and I definitely have values and morals that we have tried to model to you and teach you...but we don't judge anyone else that might not have those same values. Love people boo. Love them well. Love them for who they are. You will make the biggest difference in someone's life if you love them well. Be the type of person that you would want to hang out with.
4 - School Work - Try. Like really try. I know you are super smart...and I know you can get super distracted. Grades matter now buddy. Set in your mind to do such a great job in school. I will help you. I will stay on top of your projects and homework assignments. I will remind you often about what you need to do...but you have to be the one to do the work and get good grades. I KNOW you can do it boo, and I am so proud of what you have already accomplished!
5 - Some people stink - matter how nice or kind you are...some people are just mean. I'm sorry. You may never know what their home life is, how they have been treated in life, or why they are just plain mean. And...they will probably be mean to you. I'm sorry. There will be days when your feelings get hurt, and you are frustrated. That's ok. It happens. Just always know that not everyone is that way. Also know that you get to come home every day to a momma that thinks you are fiercely wonderful and amazing...and if I could I would beat up every little punk who is mean to you (although that seems to contradict the "love everyone" stuff is really your momma just being protective! I do want you to love everyone...but that doesn't mean you have to interact with everyone).
6 - Hygiene - Smell good. It's a thing. Make sure you do it. I will always have cologne stocked for you in our home. You're welcome
7 - Gossip - Just don't do it. It's never worth it. If there is an issue with a friend of yours...address it with them. I promise might be hard...but it is always worth it. Especially when you are older. Just don't talk bad about people in a group buddy...and don't be friends with people who do. If they talk bad about their "friends" they will probably talk bad about you too.
8 - Cell Phone - I get it...we are all on our phones all of the time. They connect us with others and they have the best features, games, and apps ever. I'm not saying to never use your phone (I would be a hypocrite to say that)...BUT...have moments when you put it away. Have a real face to face conversation with a friend. Lie in the grass and look at the clouds once in a while. Take a bike ride and tun your phone off. Have a meal with a friend and leave your phone in your pocket. Take a nature hike and just breathe in the moment instead of taking pictures of everything. Keep your's great technology...but make sure that your nose is not glued to the screen 24/7.
9 - Proud - I wanted to have a list of 9 things because you are going in to the 9th grade (see what I did there?!?)...but I just want this last thought to let you know that I am proud of you. Just you. Not your accomplishments (although I love them), not the chores you do around the house (although they are so super helpful), not your talents (although you are super gifted), and not even your wisdom (although your care and compassion and quest for knowledge are far beyond your years). Buddy...I am proud of just you. Who you are at your core. Flaws and all. And nothing you could ever do would make me love you less.You are my boy...and you always will be!

So...go get 'em! Go be awesome in high school. Learn. Create. Make friends. Have fun. Make mistakes. Make good decisions. Make bad decisions (you will learn from them...but for my blood pressures sake...try not to make too many of those). Be you buddy...and know that your momma is with you every step of the way (just not in a creepy I won't actually take steps with you at school...unless you want me to...and I totally will...but I am pretty sure as much as I would love would hate I would never actually do that...because I'm not THAT crazy...or at least I try to hide it. Also...don't write run-on sentences like I do...I am terrible at that...kind of like right now).  I love you boo! - Momma

Saturday, November 14, 2015


Have you ever had a thought that just kept bubbling up inside of you? Almost an idea that you just can't stop thinking about? I have had that for almost a week now, and in light of recent events, I am going to try my hardest to put that thought in to words. In the last 24 hours I have heard or read of so much loss and sadness. The horrific attacks in Paris. The sudden passing of a co-worker of mine (he left behind a wife, beautiful young children, and countless friends). A wife, mom, and grandma dealing with her third round of cancer that just won't relent on her. A brain tumor in a young client of mine with one baby and one on the way. A wife and mother killed in a home invasion. A sweet family losing their grandfather after his car broke down and he was accidentally hit by another vehicle. A young couple having to deliver a still born child. Even another family learning the news that their beloved dad and grandpa has an aggressive form of cancer. MY. HEART. HURTS. I can't even fathom the sadness, pain and tears that just these events have brought and will continue to bring for the days, weeks, and months to come. I am reminded again that life truly is short...we are never promised tomorrow.
Because of these reminders, I want to try to get my thoughts out as a challenge; maybe even just a challenge for me. If I was giving a pep talk to myslef right now I would say "slow down...breathe in present". To put it in an even simpler way, I would tell myself to "linger". The definition of the word linger is, "to stay in place longer than necessary, typically because of a relluctance to leave" and "to remain alive; continue to persist although gradually dying". I love these definitions because they perfectly describe what my heart wants to scream right now. More than ever I find myself saying "I'll do that when...", "let me just finish...", or "give me just a few days then we can...". Believe me, I am so aware of resposibilites, duties, and priorities. I know that we all wear so many different "hats" in our day to day lives. We are spouses, students, parents, employees, volunteers, coaches, sons/daughters, brothers/sisters, cleaners, organizers, planners, and so much more. Our lives get busier and busier. Sometimes they are busy with wonderful and lovely things, but sometimes, even the lovely things fly past us before we even realize their beauty. I want to take time to linger in just a few moments every day. I can't promise that my resposibilities will ever decrease, or that my time will somehow multiply, but I can at least try to enjoy a few more moments in every day.
 Last night our family put up our Christmas tree. I have to be honest...normally the family decorates the Christmas tree, and when everyone goes to bed...I go back and "fix" it so it looks well put together. This year, I stood back and looked at our tree and tears started to fill my eyes. The ornaments were not hung perfectly or spaced out correctly. The angel topper was crooked. The ribbon wrapped around the tree was not even. There were some empty spaces where ornaments could still go. But you know what? It. Was. Perfect. For the first time in years...I didn't change a thing. It was filled with memories of handmade gifts, and annual trips to pick out our special ornaments. It was full of life and sparkle, and for once...I took a step back to just linger in the moment of a beautiful memory being made. It wasn't a long moment...but it was a moment that I rarely take. And you know what? It caused a few more moments to happen. I hugged my little girl a few minutes longer when I tucked her in. I listened to Ty talk about his science project without reminding him that he needed to "go to bed soon". I even held my husbands hand as he fell asleep. Truly, all of those things probably took a total of 15 minutes "extra" in my day. I didn't have to rearrange my entire schedule and they didn't make me late for an appointment. They just took a thought to linger for a few minutes longer in each situation that I was in.
 My Dad passed away in August very unexpectedly, and I would give pretty much anything to be able to get one more big bear hug from him. I still smell his shirt at least a few times a week just to remember his smell...even though I know it is etched in to my memory and heart...but I just want to make sure that I don't forget. I close my eyes and remember taking moments with him to just sit and talk...he was great at that. He probably hated the fact that his life wasn't as fast paced as it used to be...but he taught me to just "sit and be" sometimes. And, somehow...I have forgotten that. In the business and the "doing" of life...I forget to linger every now and then. I almost don't even realize how wonderful my life truly is. I get so caught up in the day to day that I forget how amazingly blessed I am. I want to re-train myself to take even just a few moments everyday to just breathe in life and linger in the beauty of it.
It is my hope that at least a few times a week I will... 
- Snuggle my babes for just a few extra minutes
 - Take time to look at a sunset and breathe in the beaty of it
 - Hold my husbands hand as we fall asleep
 - Call a friend just to tell them that I love them
 - Sit in front of my Christmas tree and just feel the glow from the lights
 - Look into my husbands and eyes and tell him that I love him...for no particular reason...just because I do
 - Look up at the stars and just be so impressed at how they twinkle
 - Read something intriguing or encouraging
 - Breathe in a few deep breaths of pure thankfulness for the life I have been given
 - Take a few minutes every day to just linger in any situation I am in
None of these will take longer than a few minutes, but I feel like if I can add all of them up in a week...I will look back and realize that I took some special moments and I made them in to memories. The beauty of that you can always take them with you. They become a part of can't lose them. We aren't promised tomorrow, but we have today. I am excited that I still have the opportunity to linger and I want to make the most of those few moments every day.

Monday, May 18, 2015

14 years

I could apologize that I haven't blogged in...oh...4ish years...but thats no fun. So instead...I am just going to start blogging like I have never left we go...

14 years ago today, I was packing up what little I had from an apartment that I shared with a few girlfriends, to move into an even tinier apartment that I was going to share with my future husband in only 8 days. I was trying to get a beautiful white dress tailored properly for the 3rd time...I was trying to pack up everything I owned in to a 1982 Bright blue Geo Prism...and I was trying to not freak about about the fact that in a little over a week I was going to be MARRIED!! Looking back on that week...I wonder what I would have told that crazy, 20 year old, naive girl...if I had the chance to time travel back to her. I think I would just hug her and tell her through tear filled eyes that she was about to have the best adventure! I would tell her that even though she loved her soon-to-be-husband now...she really had no idea what love was...but she would learn...and she would somehow love him more every year. I would tell her that she was going to have two of the most wonderful children ever...and that somehow having those babes would make her love her husband even more than she thought possible. I would tell her that she would have many nights that she feared she wasn't "doing the parent thing" or "the wife thing" right. I would tell her that some nights she was going to fall asleep so frustrated...but other nights...most nights...she would fall asleep with the biggest smile on her face. I would tell her to breathe more and think enjoy spontaneous moments...and to let her husband grab her butt in public soooooo much earlier than year 13 (because he would only grab it for a second...when no one was watching...but it would always mean the world to him that you let him do it). I would tell her to not have an attitude so quickly...especially during her first few years of marraige. I would tell her to stop being so stubborn all the listen more and talk take more moments to love deeply and just smile sweetly. I would tell her that some moments...some months...even some years were going to be really hard. But I would tell her that they would make it through them just fine. I would tell her that she doesn't always have to be perfect...and I would tell her that a few amazing girlfriends in her life would walk through hard times with her...and that they didn't expect her to be perfect either. As a matter of fact...somehow they loved her even more in her inperfections. I would tell her that her husband would love her imperfections too...even the ones that she is going to try to hide...he will somehow love those the most...because those imperfections will remind him that she really does need him...even when she tries to act all independant. I would tell her that 14 years the date...she will be sitting in a car after a super successful business meeting (I would propbably also have to tell her that she would be a business woman someday)...headed home to her husband and sweet babes...and the last 14 years will just hit her. Like a huge wave of emotion...and she will smile...and cry...and laugh...and she will have memories flash through her minds eye...and each one will bring more of a smile to her tear stained face as she remembers the beauty in the last 14 years. I would tell her that in that moment she will be overwhelmed that not only had they made it 14 years...but now they were even better than they ever had been...and they were only going to get better.
And, I would think to tell her all of these things...but I would stop myself. Because I would know that she will need all of the lessons she will learn through those 14 years...and she will be such a better person, wife, mom, friend, and daughter because of them. Instead...I would just hug her...and tell her that she is making the best decision she will ever make. I would look in to that 20 year olds face and tell her how excited I am for her, and I would tell her that I couldn't wait to talk to her in 14 we could hug again...and thankful we are for the life and love we have been given.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


This little babe sure does make me smile. I realized last week that her sweet little lisp is gone...I am not even sure when it happened...but she says her "S's" quite perfectly now. I also realized that she just doesn't really have any of her "baby-face-roundness" anymore either. But...I do know that she still asks me to do her hair in pig-tails...which makes her look 100% girly...and I LOVE that!