Eight years ago...at this very time...I was 36 weeks pregnant with my little man. And eight years ago...at this very time...I started to feel "funny". Dustin and I were getting ready for bed after a busy day and I remember thinking to myself that I just felt funny...not bad...just not normal. I went to sleep and I woke up about 3:00 in the morning with cramps. I figured it was normal...so I stayed in bed and tried to go to sleep....but the cramps were not going away. They were different than any other cramps I had ever had. They started in my back and went around to my stomach...then my stomach felt really tight...then they went away. I remember thinking to myself that these might be contractions...they were uncomfortable...but not unbearable. Since I couldn't sleep with them I figured that I would go downstairs and watch some TV. Sitting seemed to be pretty uncomfortable as well and I noticed that my cramps were coming and going at a pretty regular pace. I started timing them...and they were anywhere from 10 - 6 minutes apart. I still wasn't all that concerned because I was only 36 weeks and I remembered the words of my birthing coach who stressed to all of the ladies in every class..."Don't come into the hospital until you cannot walk or talk through your contractions!!" I was definitely uncomfortable...but I could still walk and talk. Then...all of the sudden...I had a huge urge to clean ...and I mean deep clean!! So for the next 3 hours I cleaned...A LOT. I dusted...mopped...swept...windexed...I cleaned the bathroom...I cleaned the kitchen...I cleaned...and cleaned...and cleaned. Dustin came down the stairs as I was on my hands and knees buffing my hardwood floor with Pledge. He asked me what I was doing...and I told him that I had been having what I thought was contractions. I explained to him that I just really wanted to clean and since I couldn't sleep...I figured that I should just get the cleaning done. He asked if I should call the Dr and I told him that I thought I was fine...but I was going to call into work and tell them that I would not be in (It was a Saturday morning and I worked at a bank...so I knew it was only a half day anyway). He asked me if I was going to be able to go to the wedding...yes...our friends were getting married that day...Dustin was in the wedding and he had his tux all ready and I was set to be seated as an honored guest of the bride (pregnancy bridesmaid dresses were not too popular then :)!!) I told him that I thought I would be fine. About 30 minutes later...I realized that my contractions were coming more regularly and they were much closer together. I figured maybe I should call my Dr. She said that I should come in to get checked...although she did not sound very urgent. I really didn't feel very urgent either...I mean...I could still walk and talk. So I got in the shower...I was really not in any hurry. A little over an hour later we headed for the hospital. Dustin seemed a little nervous...but I told him to bring his tux with him because I was pretty sure that we would still be going to the wedding. We checked in and waited for the nurse to come in to look at me. She came in a few minutes later and after she checked me she said , "Well..we are looking good." I thought that meant everything was normal and that I was not in labor. I looked at Dustin and said, "Looks like you need to get into your tux." To which my nurse responded, "Not if he wants to be here when your baby arrives." My mouth dropped open and I remember Dustin saying something like...so he is coming...now? Like soon? Like today? The nurse smiled at both of us and said, "You will be both be parents by the end of the day." All of the sudden it hit me...I was going to be a mom...soon!!! Thoughts started to swirl in my head...O my goodness...I have to get this baby out of me...and when he comes out I am going to be his mom!! Can I do this? I don't know how to do this. Wow...I hope I don't mess this up!! As I am thinking all of this...I remember Dustin calling his mom and telling her that I was actually in labor. She was on her way and so was the rest of his family and our friends. The next 4 hours went by fairly smoothly...then it was time to push. The Dr. said that he was posterior...so after pushing for a little while they had to use a little suction to get him. I had Dustin on my right...his mom on my left...and they each said..."just a few more pushes". I took a few deep breaths...and a few more pushes...and I heard the Dr say, "He's here!" Dustin had tears in his eyes...and so did my mother in law...it was an amazing moment. The nurse and Dr. finished working on me and then we had a ton of people fill the room to meet our new little man. Everyone was smiling and talking about how wonderful he was...and I kept thinking to myself that I never had that overwhelming...uncontrolable...moment where I thought I would instantly fall madly in love with my new baby. What was wrong with me? Was it the drugs? Was I going to be a terrible mother? Was I just exhausted from lack of sleep the night before and then giving birth? I didn't say a word to anyone...I just watched as everyone held him and talked to him. A little while later the nurse came in to take Ty to the nursery. Dustin went with him and I waited for another nurse to come and get me and take me to my new room. I somehow felt like I needed to have a "moment"...and I never had it. The nurse wheeled me to my room and made sure that I was comfortable. Friends came and brought Dustin and I food. We ate and talked...and I convinced myself that I must just be tired and out of it...and that everything would be better in the morning. But...after Dustin fell asleep...I sat up in my bed and called for the nurse. I asked her if she could get Ty for me. She sweetly agreed and came back just a few minutes later. She laid him in my arms. He was sleeping...all wrapped up in his blanket...freshly cleaned...with his little hat on. He was beautiful. I stared at his sweet little face for a few minutes...then he opened his eyes...his big blue eyes. Tears started to stream down my face and I said out loud, "Oh..there it is...there's that feeling your momma has been waiting for. You are my little man...and I am your momma. I know we are both kind of new at this...but we will learn together. I want you to know that I will always love you and I will always be here for you...nothing will ever change that. I knew from that moment on that my little man was going to change my life.
Eight years later...I can definitely say that my little man has changed my life. He has taught me more about forgiveness...love...and tenderheartedness than any one person ever could. He knows when I need a hug and he knows how to make his momma smile. He is an amazing helper and he is always ready to do anything I need him to. He is funny and silly. He loves his daddy and he wants to be just like him. He still lets me kiss him in public. He is super creative. He loves to figure things out. He is my joy. I am truly blessed that God chose me to be Tyler's mommy. Happy Birthday to my little Ty man. I love you more than you will ever know and I am so proud of you. Having you makes my world a better and brighter place.
Eight years later...I can definitely say that my little man has changed my life. He has taught me more about forgiveness...love...and tenderheartedness than any one person ever could. He knows when I need a hug and he knows how to make his momma smile. He is an amazing helper and he is always ready to do anything I need him to. He is funny and silly. He loves his daddy and he wants to be just like him. He still lets me kiss him in public. He is super creative. He loves to figure things out. He is my joy. I am truly blessed that God chose me to be Tyler's mommy. Happy Birthday to my little Ty man. I love you more than you will ever know and I am so proud of you. Having you makes my world a better and brighter place.
She finished every last drop. Then we headed home to pack for our fun-filled weekend (we were able to tag along with Dustin to a Jr High retreat that he was leading worship at. They put us in a wonderful log cabin and we had a weekend full of nature hikes...laughing...arts and crafts...and fun. I will post about that soon!!) After we packed we went out to the front porch swing for some cuddle time before she went to bed. She brought out her blanket and she sat on my lap as we talked about the fun "girls only" night we had. After a few minutes...her eyes were getting sleepy and I just held her...in the silence. It was a perfect end to a perfect night.
